Stale-Mate

Is that the right term?

Well, I played my if-I-don't-get-a-daughter-can-I-at-least-have-my-favorite-boy-name card a few days early and it went something like this:

Me: "I really want a girl. I need a girl. What if it's a boy?"

Hubby: "I know, Sweetie. If it's a boy, you just have to trust that God decided that's what you need."

Me: "NO.I need a girl. Just like you needed a boy with Adam. I NEED a girl this time."

Hubby: "Well, ask God for one then."

Me: "I have been. Since Rowan was born.*groan* If it's a boy I feel really guilty for feeling this way, but....what if it's a boy?"

Hubby: *chuckles* "You'll love him every bit as much as you love the other two."

Me: "Well, can I at least name him my favorite boy name then?"

Hubby: "What's your favorite boy name?"

Me: "Emery."

Hubby: "Ugh. No way. I'm not naming my boy Emery."

Me: "Why?"

Hubby: "It's such a gay sounding name. It's wussy."

Me: "Oh brother, it is not. Emery Brandt, pleeease?"

Hubby: "No. It's a sissy name."

Me: "It means, industrious leader, how is that sissy?"

Hubby: "Honey..."

Me: "Rowan means, tree with red berries, how is Emery any sissier than that?"

Hubby: "Brandt Emery, maybe."

Me: "Only if everyone calls him Emery all the time."

Hubby: Rolls his eyes. "What's wrong with Brandt, I like Brandt."

Me: "Emery is better."

Hubby: "Why?"

Me: "It's more unique."

Hubby: "Yeah because it's gay!"

Me: "A person makes his name, not the other way around."

Hubby: "So you want people to think he's a sissy just off the cuff, until they get to know him?"

Me: "They won't! Only you would think that." Start to cry. "I just want a girl so bad and if it's not I at least want to name him my favorite name."

Hubby: Hugs me. "I know. I know. But hey, the odds are in our favor. The last two were boys and most of the other new babies have been boys. There's gotta be a girl in there somewhere."

Me: *Snort* "I don't believe in odds. It is whatever God wants it to be. I know he knows best but it doesn't change what I want."

Hubby: "I know. Keep praying. We'll find out on Tuesday and you'll feel better just knowing what it is."

Me: "There is no way on this earth she's going to say: It's a girl! I can't even imagine hearing those words. But I'm telling you right now, I'm not naming him anything but Emery."

Hubby: *SMILE*


So, that's where we stand on things. I think the next four days are going to drag by but what can I do? It is what it is, right? And I'll survive even if I never have a daughter. I can't shake the feeling that this is a boy. Not that I'm grumbling about having another boy, my other two are, after all, the greatest.

Well, I'm putting my cart before the horse, my instincts have not been confirmed. Just a little venting. I think the most upsetting part is that I really don't like any other name. It's not just a toss up for me, I really just don't care for the other names. I looked at all of the boy names in my book. None compare.

Maybe it's a good sign...