Context

I was doing my devotions this morning and my Bible study guide led me to a familiar passage.
At least I thought it was familiar. I always hear the last part of this passage. I have quoted the last part to others myself. I hear it especially in regard to "family size". I have to admit, I have even felt guilty over this passage many times. Mostly when I am feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of mothering small children. Multiple small children. I have cringed when hearing it as it is often used to "prove" that God wants us to have as many children as He wills, even if it means we have twelve or more. I have even prayed over the verses wondering if I am wrong for even trying to plan my family in the smallest way.

The verses I speak of are these:

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord: The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They shall not be ashamed, When they speak with their enemies in the gate."

Now, in my own mind, the more arrows a warrior has, the better. Right? So, does that mean that God wants us all to have as many children as physically possible? Because I gotta admit, I don't really desire to be pregnant many, many times in my life. And there are days when I really believe that I am doing a poor job simply because there is only one of me and 3 or 4 or soon to be 5 of them. (Jay included) And one person just can't do it all. Of course we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us but we are still human. And we still get tired. And run out of time. And let me tell you, this warriors arrows are going to be pretty worthless if she can't even lift her limbs to arm her bow. Know what I mean?

So I have struggled with the mentality that we should never try to "control" or "plan" our families. I am still not entirely sure where I should stand on the issue. But I did feel somewhat enlightened & a bit relieved when I stumbled across the beginning of the passage this morning.

It reads:

"Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.
 It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For HE gives to HIS beloved even in his sleep."

Okay, it obvious that we should sleep in if we feel like it. (hee hee)

But seriously, look at the first verse. "Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it..."  Now, I am not some great scholar or anything but wouldn't that work both ways, big family or little family?

Jay and I have always believed that it is okay to "plan" out our family. (If you know us, you know none of our children have come exactly when we wished they would. So I use the term plan very lightly) But in our minds, it needs to be done in prayer. I am the first to admit that if I hadn't prayed about it, I wouldn't be due in less than six weeks. I did not want to go through the trials of pregnancy again and after Avril being such a cranky baby, I wasn't sure I wanted to go through that part of it again either. So I prayed. And I asked Jay to pray too. Within a month God completely changed my heart. What had felt like doom-&-gloom was suddenly one of my deepest desires. And I never have thought about it until now but I am inclined to believe that's why this pregnancy has been the best out of the four. Because we submitted.

I guess I was just surprised that I had never actually seen the beginning of this passage before. And whether we are trying to keep our family small or make out like the Duggars, if God's not head of the planning department, it's all in vain.

Just a side note, to those who don't, won't, or can't have large families, it is much better to have one well-aimed arrow in battle than hundreds of mis-fired ones.

So let's spur one another on to aim those arrows for the kill shot. every.single.one.

Passage is Psalms 127