I have been feeling quite convicted lately of many things. I feel convicted about my family's diet. I mean we do better than a lot of people but I know we could be eating a whole lot healthier. Just talk to my dad and you'll feel like you've been injecting your children with poison!
I feel convicted about discipline in regards to my children. I have been cranky and hollering and threatening but never following through. And it shows. I keep thinking that the worst thing to me is being yelled at. It alwas makes me feel worthless and very angry. Yet, it is all I seem to do. I yell and snap and complain.
I feel convicted about prayer. I honestly don't remember how long it's been since I have sat down and prayed instead of sending up thoughtless, frustrated demands.
I feel convicted about spending time with my kiddos. When was the last time I so much as read them a story?
I feel convicted about spending time in the Word. Does anyone know where I put my Bible?
I feel convicted and out of sorts for feeling convicted. Do I feel convicted because I fear that I will not get into Heaven without doing these things or do I feel convicted because of the Holy Spirit? And if I'm feeling so convicted then why am I not changing any of it? Why do I keep trudging along this way?
Lance's post about feeling sick sort of hit home for me. Only I don't feel as sick as I should. Please pray that God will change my heart.
4 comments:
MUAH! I will be praying for you. Although conviction is a very useful tool, remember you are pregnant and you have a lot of extra things running through your body right now. Follow through with what you feel the Spirit is calling you to change but don't try and build Rome in a day.
I will tell you this. Fix the diet and most everything else will fall into place. As soon as I stopped giving my children ANYTHING with Corn Syrup (yes, I know its even in ketchup), the change was MIRACULOUS. Their attitudes were night and day.
Devotions....do them with the kids. Its that simple. Involved them and you will get something out of it too. Oh and read to them when they are trapped....like in the bath when you are watching them anyway!
Love you and I will be praying for you.
I don't do much posting, but I will give you my 2c. We all go through this from time to time Heidi. One thing that I have found in my life when this happens is that forgiveness is an incredible thing...but there is a catch. We have to ASK for it! :) I have found myself in this place that you describe, and I finally get in a quiet place and cry out for forgiveness and that is all I needed - my "down" syndrome is gone, I am free from this burden! But how do I keep from staying in this place? The idea of repenting is to turn from my ways. After you have repented, make the choice to change. Be disciplined to have your quiet time, read the word and pray. Our faith is made stronger and we are able to overcome. Hide God's word in your heart! You will still stumble, but just continue your repentance and your daily devotion to the Lord...it will change your life!
Awww, Heidi. I'll be praying for you. I dont want to shove advice at you, I just thought I would mention that during the last couple of months of all my pregnancies I have gone through things that have resulted in a much deeper relationship with God. With Levi, I had basically convinced myself I was going to die. I didnt think things could get much worse than Jayde, and they did with Amber. I had logically began to believe that I was going to die. It was awful. I remember praying, asking God that I would 'get to know' the Holy Spirit more and as Lyle pointed out, asking for forgiveness and making the choice to change. And after that chat, I was reminded to be thankful. So I made a conscious decision to give thanks to the Lord. Not just think 'thank you' but to verbalise it. Like some crazy loon, I wandered around the shops & everywhere being thankful for every little thing, constantly throughout the day & night. And although initially I was consciously making the effort, the thankfulness that began flowing through my body was overwhelming. When you are being thankful, its pretty hard to be at odds with the Spirit. The world seems full of personal blessings that God has made just for you. I find thankfulness is key in maintaining my personal patience and my diligence with responsibilities. Thankfulness gives me a hunger for the Living Word. And thankfulness is contagious in a family! When 'life' starts overwhelming me and I become too busy to be thankful, I notice that things begin to fall apart. I begin doing things my way, not Gods way, and am quickly reminded there is no such thing as partial obedience! So I would encourage you, even if it starts with a sigh, to give thanks. :) In Ephesians it talks about being filled with the Spirit, so I have these 3 little yardsticks for myself: thankfullness, a song in my heart, and my relationships in order. For me, I find that actually being thankful, leads frequently to the song in my heart, and a patience which aids with relationships. Im not perfect and have so many ares of 'conviction' of my own, but I wanted to share. I will be praying for you!
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