For Mom

Well, I admit, I have lost a lot of my ambition to blog since Facebook became the latest craze. Nobody reads or comments anymore. And I like to read people's comments and hear their reactions to the things I post. It's fun and uplifting. It makes you feel connected and people get to see an aspect of your life that they don't usually see. The life, the house, the kids that are yours every day and not just the polite & tidy version they get to see at church.(Although, my kids are pretty consistent.) It makes me feel *gasp*, social.

Yesterday I went to my grandparents' house to make Christmas candy with my girl, my sister & her girls, my brother's girls, and my grandma. My sweet mama watched the boys and when I came to pick them up she made a remark that she has nothing to read anymore because we have forsaken blogging. It made me feel sad because I knew what she meant. I feel the same way. It just ain't no fun to be one of the only ones left over here on blogger. Everybody uses Facebook now and my husband has a strong dislike for the whole idea so I remain unconnected and will probably continue to remain that way. I mean he is a Palmer. I have never known one to back down or change their mind easily, if ever. They were born stubborn and they will die that way, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, my mom's remark got me to thinking. First, that there are still some out there that lurk around here hoping for something new to read or look at. One of them being my own mother who is very dear to me. And that while the comments and other people's posts make it more fun, they are not the reason I started this blog four-and-a-half years ago.

I started this blog to document our life with our young family. To etch the endearing little things that my children do and say into my heart and mind. To have them written down and printed into books so that they might read them one day and so that in the twilight of my earthly life I, too, might look back and remember. To simply remember.

And that is why I will continue to post as long as I am able. I will post the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to remember our real life. Not the cleaned up, tidy version, but the real, nitty-gritty, horrible, imperfect life that is ours here. I want to remember the bad & hard times because it is those times that we are most real and in those times that God works so greatly. I will punch out the horrid comments my children make on this keyboard and upload the pictures of food covered fingers up their noses. You will hear about digging for change in their feces and how much labor sucks. I will complain about pregnancy and weight gain and crabby children. I will then later post how sorry I am for griping and that I am truly thankful for these little hellions. There is sure to be no shortage of posts about the dreadful task of homeschooling or cleaning the ever-filthy house. And don't be surprised if every now and then you read about my frustrations with marriage or my doubts about salvation. Because that is all part of this life. And without it I wouldn't get to post about how God strengthened me & my husband in the most awful time of our lives last spring. How He upheld us and pulled us through the muck & the mire to a place of security. How He renewed my relationship with my daughter to a point it's never been before. I wouldn't get to post about the fact that even though I tremble in fear quite often and struggle with pride, arrogance, self-control, bitterness, forgiveness, and faith, God never forsakes me. You wouldn't hear about how even though this life is so tainted by sin, we are redeemed and whole and clean. In spite of the crusty food and boogers on our hands and faces.

My prayer is not that I will get to look back and remember only the good, warm fuzzy times. But that I will look back and see how far God has brought us.

So expect to see a lot more of us around here. And feel free to skip the posts about bodily waste if you wish but do it knowing that as ugly as it may seem, our Savior has made it beautiful. And remember that the mission field isn't often a pretty place.

That being said, I am also changing the the name of this blog as there are now more than 3 P's around here. And since this place is buzzing with activity at any given moment I have chosen to call it The Hive. We are a busy bunch and we even bring out our stingers quite frequently, so it's fitting. Please come back and read and laugh and cry and gag. And know that even if you don't, we'll be here.