A Little Bit of Summer

Huckleberries are sort of a summer signature in North Idaho. After all, it just wouldn't be summer without them. And after two years of huckleberry neglect, we went picking this year. Thanks to our freezer, we get to enjoy a little bit of summer all winter.

Being the native Idahoan that he is, Rhett was happy to demonstrate:

 

As long as eating is involved, this kiddo is game. He even showed off by double-fisting it a few times.

 

These photos may not be much from a photography standpoint but in the eyes of this momma, they are something to be treasured.

(and inspiration to get better at using my camera again!)

 

the year

I have been feeling the burden for so long. The burden to be that mom & wife.

The wife who helps her husband before he asks instead of sighing and rolling her eyes after he asks. Twice. The wife who greets him with a smile instead of a scowl & cross words. The wife who keeps the house tidy instead of vegging out on the couch. The wife who plans & cooks healthy meals instead of scrambling just to throw something resembling food on the table. The wife who responds softly to his stress instead of lashing out from her own stress. The wife who loves him more than herself.

To be the mom who opens her arms to her children in the morning instead of growling at them to leave her be. The mom who does crafts with her children instead of snapping at them for cutting up paper. The mom who shows her children how to clean rather than get stressed about the constant mess. The mom who giggles, & laughs, & plays on the floor versus talking on the phone. The mom who plans ahead & patiently helps her children out the door instead of snarling at them because she's late. The mom who gently corrects wrongdoing instead of lashing out in anger & frustration. The mom who is attentive to her children instead of trying to occupy them in order to be alone. The mom who loves her children more than herself.

I have spent years watching other women, online, in person, on television & movies, in books, be that woman. I have envied them and longed to be them. But lately the longing has changed. It's becoming a realization, a whisper in my heart.

You can be. With me, all things are possible.

And it's true. I can be that wife & mom. I know it won't be perfect. And it certainly won't be easy. But in my own way, with the gifts God has given me & the beautiful family He has shared with me, one day at a time, I can be her.

I was talking with a friend the other day and she suggested that I give it one year. That I just commit to putting everything else on hold and completely invest in & attend to my family and see what happens. And the more the idea settled into my mind and the more I pondered & prayed, the more I wanted it. I want that year. I want the freedom to not volunteer for anything extra, to stop obsessing about my weight, to ignore my telephone, and to put my family first. To invest wholeheartedly.

So I'm taking that year. It may be 2 or 3 or 30 in the end but I'm going to start with one. One year. Expect to see less of me on Pinterest & Facebook. Expect to hear less from me on the phone. Expect me to say no a lot. And expect to see more of the family here on the blog (after the kids are sleeping of course).

Now I'm not saying that I'll never take a break or do anything extra, I'm just saying that my family is going to come first. I know God will give me the strength & wisdom and I hope others will hold me accountable. It's going to be a challenge. And it's going to be worth it!

This is the year.

Time marches on

I did something tonight that I've never done.

Tonight I packed away my babies burp cloths for the last time.

Oh, I've packed them away before. But tonight was different. Tonight I knew I would not take them out and use them again.

It seems a small thing, to pack away stained and dirty cloths. But as I began folding them a sadness I've never felt before rolled in. I took each one and smoothed out the wrinkles, my hands caressing the yellow stains. I brought them to my face and felt them & smelled them. Then one by one I put them in a box.

Is it weird that I feel so sentimental about some 9-year-old rags? Maybe. But as they went into the box I remembered. Four years. Four entire years of my life have been spent with one of those rags over my shoulder. A year for each of my children. Nursing. Wiping their faces. Patting and bouncing them on my shoulder. Morning, day, and night. Each child has added their stains to those icky old cloths. Each child has fallen asleep on those cloths, chewed on those cloths, and burped on those cloths.

A younger version of myself could not wait to pack them away and be done with them for a while. Mother of a one-year-old boy with so many better things to do than clean up baby spit up. Eager for the next phase. Eager for them to grow.

Perhaps I will pass them on and some new, young mother will use them to wipe her sweet newborn's face. Perhaps she will wrinkle her nose in disgust and throw them away. After all, who would want a dirty old rag?

But it was not some dirty old rags that I tucked away in some box.

Tonight, I tucked away my babes.

Eternal

"In about fifty years(give or take a couple of decades), no one will remember you. Everyone you know will be dead. Certainly no one will care what job you had, what car you drove, what school you attended, or what clothes you wore."...


                                                                                                                 ~Francis Chan
                                                                                                                   Crazy Love



"And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."


                                                                                                                    ~God
                                                                                                                       Holy Bible
                                                                                                                       Deuteronomy 6:6-7


It is true. In 100 years or less, I will not be remembered. My life will vanish like a vapor. Even my children & grandchildren will be mostly dead. Anyone that I had direct contact with, will have passed on. Gone from this life. Most of my earthly possessions will have turned to dust with rot & decay.

And it's okay. It's not about me.

It's about Him. All of it. My worth, or lack thereof, is of little to no consequence. My only purpose is to know Him & glorify Him. To make Him known to my children and those I meet in this life. To share what He has shown us, given to us. To share what will be ours if we answer His calling.

I want these verses to penetrate our household. I want to live them out. To teach my children & grandchildren what it's all about. I don't want Him to be part of our lives, I want Him to be the source & reason for our lives. So that when I am gone, when I am forgotten, He isn't. It's okay if they forget who I was. As long as they never forget who He is.

hit me with your best shot...

FIRE AWAY-AY-AYYYY!

sorry. I couldn't help it.

So I want to know your best morning routines with the kiddos.
I know there are some things that are essential to me in the morning and I seem to have a hard time fitting it all in.

My big things:

~devotions
~walk/run
~getting kids up & dressed
~beds made
~kids chores done
~breakfast & cleanup
~devotions with the kids

Those are the things that throw our entire day off if they aren't done. But since my walk takes an hour and my run makes me sweat like a pig who needs a shower very badly, it's practically lunch time when we get it all done. Once school starts, I know I am going to have to run in the morning and walk(with all of the kids) later in the day. Right now I walk in the morning by myself and run when Rhett is napping. So I am thinking that I will get up at 5:00, run, shower, get ready for the day, and then get the kids up to do their stuff. Then maybe we could start school by 8:00 or 9:00.

Trouble is.... I don't wanna get up at 5:00! Is there a better way to do this in a timely manner?

So hit me! I need fresh minds and a different perspective.

ten on tuesday

1. how pathetic am I that I have been "completing" Avril's room for two years and the only thing I've accomplished is buying her a bed? there just seem to be too many other more important things to spend time & money on.

2. swim lessons are awesome. adam is becoming quite a little fish. I think that Avril is a little more comfortable in the water and rowan never says much about it. he is not fond of blowing out his nose under water. I know they are all having a blast, including me. it has been really good for us as I would most likely not take them to the lake very often without the lessons.

3. I am still working on my couch to 5k program. I am currently on week 5. I now run 5 days a week instead of 3. Still trying to walk each day as well.

4. Went to town and ran errands with all 4 tired & hungry children after swim lessons today. My, what an experience. I always picture these things going very well. Like a fuzzy dream. Walking calmly down the isles in the store. gazing at my sweet, smiling children as they politely hand me things I need off of the shelves. a chubby baby contentedly cooing in the grocery cart as it rolls along. but after I go & real life happens, I think I'd be content with just remembering everything on the list and not contemplating the murder of people. It's not always my children. sometimes it's the construction workers that always flip the sign around to STOP when I drive up. sometimes it's the cashier who checks the groceries slower than molasses in January as my children are wrestling in the isle and my baby is screaming his lungs out because I actually have to scan the thing he is playing with. sometimes it's the mother with only two children who is looking at the freak show that is our family as we troop in & out of the store. and it's almost always the person who says, "wow. you've got your hands full." they might as well say, "wow, nut-job, you must have been completely off your rocker when you had those last two."

5. getting excited about the upcoming school year. thought I'm not ready to start yet, I am really looking forward to this new program we're trying. I get to order the books and curriculum on Friday. It's sort of like Christmas for me. Books are a great love of mine. I just love looking through a new book.

6. my kids. my poor, poor kids. they need a routine so badly right now. Rhett has been waking everybody up really early and we seem to sort of just survive the blows of the day. I have been a poor planner and we are all feeling it. the kids have random meal times(with too much dairy), random naps, random bedtimes, & random time with Mommy. it's taking it's toll and something needs to be done.

7. I am going on a computer fast for a couple days.
     see number 6.
    So tomorrow & Thursday are no computer days. they are going to be fully devoted to the care of my children & husband. who knows, maybe I'll even get some cleaning done.

8. know a good/inexpensive place to get flattering & modest swimwear for women? I am a little bit panicky about the whole thing. summer's coming to an end. must find something before my cruise!

9. summer's coming to an end! I am sad but glad. fall is my favorite time of year but this summer has been pretty fun so I'm sad to see it end.

10. if I ever complete Avril's room, the boys' gets to be next. it's in need of updating. and by the time I get to it, Rhett will be ready to move to a big boy bed. sniffle. they get big so fast.

Little Lady

Having a daughter has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Right up there with having a husband and sons. Since I have only one daughter I am trying to soak up as much of the girly as I can. Thankfully, Avril likes to soak it up too.

This last spring we went to a mother/daughter tea at the church. we had a ball getting ready. Sadly I didn't take any pictures of the actual tea but I did snap some of us getting ready.

 

 

We had a great time.

I think getting ready was nearly the most enjoyable part of the whole evening.

 

Isn't she lovely?